[EmberWolfe]

My Life

Kaviik ~ Injury

"Kaviik? Kaviik!" I shouted. I went out to the woods again today; as I have almost every night now, planning to met Kaviik, but tonight, he was not waiting for me as usual, I sensed there was something wrong, so I ran out into the woods by myself, looking for my friend.

In the dark I ran, tripping over the many pebbles and twigs which lay scattered on the ground, looking for Kaviik, guided by the moonlight, and my instinct. Very soon after, I spotted the small, black mass lying on the cold hard ground, covered in brutal lacerations and bruises, blood everywhere. He was so still, my heart sank. I was deathly afraid, 'Is he.. dead?' I thought. I started to cry.

"Kavik!" I shouted as I ran towards my little friend, not caring about the blood I picked him up gingerly and put him on my lap. He was still warm, breathing, alive. I was so relieved. He was attacked, but thank god none of the wounds were fatal. I stopped crying when I carried him, I didn't want the salt in my tears to cause him even more pain.

I carried him up, I needed to bring him somewhere safe, not the orphanage, no. Then it came to my mind, the clearing. Never did I see another creature step into the clearing, I decided that is the safest place for Kaviik. Holding Kaviik like a big baby, I ran to the clearing, guided by instinct.

The clearing was as majestic as usual, lighted dimly by the moonlight. I put Kaviik down onto the soft grass, then ran off, back to the orphanage.

Everyone was asleep, so, moving as silently as a mouse, I tip toed around the orphanage gathering supplies, bottles of water, antiseptic, bandages, a can of corned beef, and an old baby bottle. It took me five minutes to collect all these things, then I left again, heading for my injured Kaviik.

Kaviik's breathing was shallow and quick, he was in so much pain, but inevitably, I would have to cause him more. I opened a bottle of water and washed Kaviik's wounds with the water, when he was throughly cleansed, I used the antispectic on his wounds, seeing him wince caused a blade to be struck through my heart, but this was necessary for him to heal faster. I banaged the poor, injured wold cub and put him back down to rest.

I sat with Kaviik throughout, and after about an hour, he woke up, and looked at me. His big puppy eyes were cloudy, a definite heartbreaking difference from their usual clear, glossy sharpness. His fur did not have its usual glossy sheen. All its luster was replaced by patches of clotted blood and dirt which was not washed off when I cleaned his wounds. Seeing him in this state made me feel so worthless, I couldn't protect him, and he was hurt until this state....

"What hurt you?" I asked, completely ignoring the fact that there was no way Kaviik could reply me. I gave him a pat on his head; smoothening out his fur, comforting him. Feebly, he put his head in my lap, resting on me, depending on me.

I opened the pop top of the can of corned beef, after I washed my hands with some water I took a lump of the corned beef and fed it to Kaviik. Weakly, he ate from my hand, with a look of gratitude upon his face. Slowly, I fed him until he rejected the food. Surprisingly, Kaviik managed to eat at least three quarters of the can, I guessed it was most likely survival insinct, a survival tactic since the proteins from the meat eventually would be used by his body to mend the wounds. Then I poured water into the baby bottle and let Kaviik drink from it, letting him suckle on the teet of the bottle, desperately trying to drink. Ah, water, the elixir of life.

I sat with Kaviik for such a long time, hoping my pressence would make him feel just a little bit better. All the while when I sat there with Kaviik in the clearing, I noticed that animals never did come within its borders, they avoided the place. With this observation, I came to the conclusion that this clearing must be some magical place, where only me and Kaviik could come in. Amazing.

Stroking Kaviik's head I asked again, "What hurt you, Kaviik?". He was asleep now, my baby.

His breathing had slowed down, he was calm now. "Poor baby.." I said, still stroking him. Then I saw movement from the corner of my eye. I turned to look into the woods, there was nothing there which I could see, but i sensed that something was watching us, waiting.

I walked to the edge of the clearing, then out if its protective barrier into the woods, I knew I could leave Kaviik and he would be safe. From my left, I heard the sound of leaves rustling and I turned. The hairs at the back of my neck raised, I was wary, I was afraid of what lay in the woods, what could have hurt my Kaviik so badly.

I walked quite a distance into the woods, further and further from Kaviik, following my instincts. Then I came across it, there standing about ten metres infront of me, stood a strikingly beautiful red wolf. It was full grown, had luxurious red locks of reddish brown fur, piercing green eyes, with claws and fangs caked with dried blood. Tears started filling in my eyes at the sight of this creature, how could something so beautiful be so cruel? This blood thirsty fiend. We stared at each other for a good five minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Sizing each other up, estimating strengh, figuring out weaknesses...

Then it attacked.

Sunday, June 7, 2009
thats my life__

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Kaviik ~ The Second Meeting

Frost is still not home, but Mr Woveraine called back, he said that Frost is doing fine, but he has to stay at the doctor's house for the next few days, and he is going to stay with him to make sure he is alright. Tiffany told me this. She is going to stay at the orphanage with us for the next few days while Mr Woveraine is out, took look after us children. At least I wouldn't be alone with them.

The day went by quite uneventfully, the children still feared me. They did not dare to bully me today, after what they saw what I did to Gloria. It was good, because for the first time, the orphanage was rather peaceful.

When I woke up, I had my hot shower, the children did not turn off the lights this time. Then I walked out of the bathroom, kids in the hallway ran away to hide when they saw me. It was a blessing to my ears not hearing their childish chides and scornful remarks.

I greeted Tiffany in the kitchen, she made pancakes and scrambled eggs for us, it smelt delicious. I took a plate and piled it with fluffy flapjacks and creamy eggs. Drenching my food in honey and butter, I cut myself a piece and ate it. Yummy. I ate in silence as Tiffany sat there, reading today's newspaper. On the front page, there was the headline "Snake twins born at 3.am, parents fear they are Satan's children." There was a picture of two harlequin babies, with their "scaly" skin, and blood clotted eyes. It was a sad gene mutation which results in the thickening of the keratin layer of the skin, resulting in children having diamond shaped "scales" on their body, the kids would likely die soon, saddening it was. The article stated that the parents wanted to kill the babies. It made me think of my own parents, did they put me and Frost in the facility just because we had a gene mutation? I nearly started crying, but I remembered Tiffany was here, so I stopped myself and continued eating.

I finished eating, thanked Tiffany and went back to my room. The kids were all playing outside, All but Gloria, of course. Gloria had been hiding in her room all day yesterday, since I left the house. She dared not face the world anymore. 'Ha.' I thought. 'She deserves it.' The day passed rather uneventfully as I went on with my normal routine, reading the books in Mr Woveraine's library, solving puzzles in my room.

Of course, there was still this constant thought of Kaviik bothering me. 'I have a new friend now, his name is Kaviik.' I thought. 'He is so thin, so small and frail, so tiny, he needs more food.' I decided to go see him. That night, I would sneak out to see my friend. It was late afternoon now, so I went downstairs to tell Tiffany that I was going to sleep, she was not very surprised and told me she would leave some dinner in the fridge and that if I woke up in the middle of the night and felt hungry, I could just microwave the food. I thanked her and proceeded to bed.

When everyone was asleep I crept down the stairs to the kitchen. All the kids were asleep in their own rooms and Tifffany slept in Mr Woveraine's room. In my mind, I thought, 'Kaviik, please be there..' I took the food from the fridge, Tiffany made a chunky beef stew, it smelt delicious.

I popped the container into the microwave and heated up the stew. I found some pita bread and a spoon, taking these with the heated stew, I carefully crept out of the house, and into the woods.

I found Kaviik waiting for me at the edge of the woods, as if he had heard me calling out to him. I smiled brightly at him. He came up to me and started sniffing me, 'must be the stew,' I thought, 'the poor thing must be so hungry. Kaviik started walking into the woods and I followed.

We walked quite a distance, until we got to a small clearing. The moonlight shone down on the clearing, illuminating the area. The soft grass was slightly damp with dew, and because of the moonlight, they sparkled like diamonds. Trees lined the perimeter of the clearing, there were no flowers at all here, or the presence of any other living organisms for that matter, the scene was so surreal.

Kaviik walked and sat in the middle of the clearing, beckoning me to do the same, which I did. I sat, crossed legged, and put the opened bag of pita bread beside me, with the warm container of stew on my lap. Kaviik put his head on my knee and looked up at me with adorable puppy dog eyes. I used the spoon to fish out a chunk of beef. Wrapping the meat in some pita bread, I offered it to Kaviik, who happily ate the food from my hand. I dipped more pita bread into the gravy and ate it with the potatoes and carrots, periodically feeding Kaviik with more chunks of beef and bread.

There was more than enough stew for us to share. I smiled as I watched Kaviik eat, it was so adorable. After we were finished, Kaviik licked the droplets of water off the grass, cleaning his tongue, then came up to me and licked my face, thanking me. I gave him a scratch on his head and told him, "Thank you for being my friend."

Then Kaviik looked up at me with a mischievous look in his eyes and darted away, back into the forest. "Wait!" I cried, and leaving the container in the clearing, I ran after him.

We ran through the woods for hours, passing tree after tree, tripping over rock after rock. It was an exhilarating feeling, not thinking about anything and just running without stopping. I followed him all the time, and he was always two metres in front of me, it was as if we were playing catch, but if I needed to slow down, he did so. The woods, so unknown to me before now seemed so familiar, now that i was with Kaviik, I felt fine, free from all burden, free from all restraints. 'This is freedom!' I wanted to shout that out loud to express my joy. I opened my mouth, and unexpectedly, I let out a great howl which rang through the woods.

I gasped. It was so unexpected, I was shocked. I sounded exactly like a wolf without even meaning to. Kaviik stopped running and turned to me, and he himself let out a great howl, too loud and strong, for his small frame.

After out lead, many other wolves from miles around followed suit in the symphony of howls. It was a beautiful melody of voices, calling out to the sky, calling out to the moon which shone above. Now that I was standing still, I saw the woods in a different light. It wasn't scary, dark, and ominous like I thought before, it was breathtaking. The grain of the bark on the trees scattered around, the glimmer of dew on the leaves, decomposing leaf litter on the floor, moonlight creeping through the canopy of leaves, revealing all this beauty. The smell of the air was refreshing, the rustle of leaves as I walked along was melodic, this really was a magical place, and I was falling more in love with it with every passing second.

Kaviik and I walked back to the clearing, the sky was just turning pink when we reached the clearing. It was already day break, which meant that I had to return to the orphanage. I grabbed the stew container and like before, walked back to the orphanage with Kaviik at my side. At the edge of the woods I bid him goodbye, promising to visit him when night came again, and with that, I entered the house quietly, making sure I did not disturb the slumber of anyone inside.

Tonight I felt a feeling I never had before, I was free, my inner beast was sated, and I didn't even have to hurt anyone.

Sunday, May 10, 2009
thats my life__

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Lost Memories ~ The End. A.K.A 16 Years Old (Part III)

She smiled at me, my heart flew. This is my mother, I am actually looking into the face of my biological mother! The image was so real, so vivid, I wanted to run into her arms, embrace her and cry for the longest time. But then I remembered, she abandoned me, and all that love i felt towards her turned into anguish, I started to cry. 'She didn't want me,' I thought, so what she said next completely caught me off guard.

"Oh Em Em! My baby! You're alive! You're safe! My beautiful Emmy..." she used pet names, which now seemed so familiar to me, something i heard so long ago. There were tears in her eyes as she said those words.

I had so many questions to ask her, but I choked out the first one, "Why did you abandon me?" My tears were now flowing more than it ever had before.

"Oh, oh no darling! We never ever abandoned you, don't ever think that! Your father and I loved you so much, you were our pride and joy, you gave meaning to our lives." She defended herself. 'My father...', I thought, 'I want to see him, I want so much to be with them'

"If you didn't abandon me, why am I not with you now? Why was I at the facility all that time? Until I escaped..." I had to know the truth, no matter how painful.

"Poor darling.. You were so young when you were taken from us.. I know, instead of simply telling you.. I will show you. I will show you the past you have long forgotten." she said as she reached out her hand to touch me.

My first glimpse of light. It was dull light, but my eyes still took a few seconds to adjust. I felt a sharp pain applied to my bottom, so I started crying and air rushed in to fill the cavity in my chest.

"It's a girl!" The midwife exclaimed, "a beautiful baby girl.." She handed me to a man, he had a smiling, handsome face, chiseled jaw, moderately large, grey eyes which lit up as he held me. He was extremely young. "Hello there..." he whispered, "Welcome to the world baby." This man is my father, I thought, I recognised his voice from when I was still inside my mother's womb, he told me great stories, sang to me soft melodies. Yes, this is him.

He cut away the cord which had connected me to my mother, it didn't hurt, like I thought it would. He handed me back to the midwife who weighed me and washed me. "An eight pound, healthy baby." she said, as she wrapped me in a warm, heated blanket and handed me gently to my mother.

There were tears in my mommy's beautiful eyes, so large and orange. Her long, red hair was all messed up from labour, but her flower bud lips broke into a smile as she held me, just the sight of that made me start smiling as well, 'My mother is happy! Because of me!'

"Look Kael! She is smiling! Our baby girl is smiling!" My mother beamed and hugged me. "She is so beautiful..."

"Just like you, Morrigan, she looks just like you.. But with different colouring." said Kael, my father.

"She has your ears," she pointed out, "and your tail... and your eye colour.."

Smiling, my father picked me up and held me, examining me, "But other than that, she is all you." he finished. End of discussion. He gave me a kiss on my lower back, which started to have a tingling sensation which hurt slightly, but it wasn't enough to make me cry. "The Wolverton Blessing, from father to child," he said. He then bundled me back up, carried me to my mom and sat beside us.

My mother started humming a tune as she stroked my hair, this familiar tune, she always sang it to me while she was conceived with me, a magical tune. My eyes grew heavy, and I fell back asleep before I heard them give me my name.

Other images came up, little fragments of my memory piecing up the pieces of my lost past, my mother feeding me, my father playing with me, my mother bringing me shopping, father reading to me, me sleeping in the same bed as my parents. But these were just images without sound. They weren't significant enough.

I finally woke up. I was looking up from my cot, and a hooded figure was picking me up. I did not know who it was, this person. Out of fear I started crying and screaming. The figure kept telling me to hush, from her voice I could tell she was a lady. She told me she was taking me somewhere else, I didn't want to go, I wanted my mommy and daddy, so I continued screaming, screaming and crying my loudest, hoping that mother and father would hear me.

She was just about to escape out the window when my mom came bursting in. The look on her face was pure shock when she saw us, to this, the shrouded figure said, "Oh dear, baby, it seems you have woken mommy."

My mom screamed, calling for my daddy while she lunged for me. I felt the figure's grip on me tighten, as she jumped out the window with me and ran.

As we ran I heard daddy and mommy running after us. They were going to save me! And take me back home. Fighting ensued. Most things were a blur, eventually I fainted, and somehow, I knew mommy and daddy lost, but they didn't go down without a fight.

'My mother and father loved me,' I thought, 'they didn't abandon me... I was kidnapped.' The vision finished, and I was sitting in my seomar, looking into the fire. A thought suddenly struck me, and the dark tendrils of fear started twining itself around my heart.

"What about Frost?!" I questioned, already knowing the answer. My mother gave me a confused look.

"Frost? Who is Frost?" she enquired, and a heavy, sinking feeling hit the pit of my stomach, I thought I was going to throw up. 'No, no.. It can't be,' I thought.

"Frost! My brother! Your son! Black ears with white tips?" I stated desperately, denying myself from believing it. 'No, he IS my brother! He has to be!' I could not accept it, I was freaking out.

"Em Em, dear..." My mother said slowly, and gently, the words I was dreading to hear, "You're an only child, you don't have a brother." When she said that, I felt as if I had been shot.

"NO! NO! NO!" I shouted. I broke down. I snuffed out the fire with my hand, not caring if it burnt my skin. I couldn't accept this, Frost was all I had, the only family I had. He was my brother, he IS my brother!

As much as I tried to deny it, every logical part of my brain just knew it was true. I trusted the vision, my mother, she wouldn't lie to me. I believed in her as much as my ancestor with the same name, Morrigan, and her daughter, Katrina.

In my shocked and devastated state, I left my seomar without packing anything. I made my way back to the dormitories. I cried as I swam, as I walked, and as I lay back on my bed, watching the sun rise up, I finally made myself a promise.

"I will never tell Frost about this."

Saturday, April 25, 2009
thats my life__

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Lost Memories ~ 7 Years Old

Frost is lying in bed, he is ill, terribly ill. His temperature is 33 degrees Celsius, yet he is breaking out in sweat, he is losing body heat by the minute. He needs to go to the hospital, but which hospital would see a boy with wolfish character and not try to lock him up for experiments?

"Mr Woveraine! You have to do something! You need to help Frost! At this rate... he is going to die! I can't lose him!" I'm crying badly to Mr Woveraine, as he stands there, pondering his next move.

"Don't worry, Ember," he coaxes, "he's going to be alright." Mr Woveraine carries Frost up and walks towards the door, I follow him. "I'm bringing Frost to my friend, he is a doctor, and may be able to help, Ember, stay here." he commanded.

"Why! He's my brother!" I protested.

"Stay here! I can't look after the both of you now, especially when Frost is in this state!" Mr Woveraine snapped. He wrapped Frost in a winter jacket, then pulled on his own and went out the door. I stayed by the window, watching as the car left the driveway, the tarmac making an extremely crunchy sound as the car sped off into the darkness. 'How safe can I be here...,' I thought, 'with those monsters in this house...'

I walked back up to my room, closed and locked the door. I didn't want to go back to bed, I was too worried for Frost. Clutching my teddy bear, McBooBoo, I sat by the window, watching the stars. Eventually, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was day break. I looked around the room, Frost was not back yet, and I sensed that, neither was Mr Woveraine. I didn't want to leave my room, but my stomach did not agree with me, so I left the room to go to the kitchen.

Lucky for me, I woke up earlier than my peers, so I got to the kitchen without anything bad happening.

I can't stand having to eat anything cold, so I cooked myself a bacon and cheese omelette, delicious. I settled the plate of eggs down on the table and started eating, biting into the forkful of omelette was bliss, warm, creamy, liquid cheese graced my tongue, bits of crunchy bacon felt so satisfying as i chewed. My taste buds danced for joy, truly, this is heaven in the form of food.

After eating, I washed all the utensils I used and put them back in their respective places, I was just about to head back up to my room when, lo and behold, the other children woke up and stood behind me.

"Good morning freak!" said one in a cheerful voice, "What happened to your brother? He finally realised what a bother you are and left you?" All the other children started laughing.

"Very funny," I replied, and tried to walk past them, but they made a blockade at the entrance.

"Really Ember, how rude! You didn't answer our question. So where is he?" asked another.

"Fine," I replied, "he is sick and Mr Woveraine brought him to the doctor, now let me pass." Obviously, they didn't.

"HAHAHA! He's sick! That's really great!" said one.

"I hope he dies from it! Maybe its the cancer and he's in real pain! That would be really funny!" This sadistic quote came from none other than the bitch, Gloria Gale, it caused my blood to boil. She cursed my brother, I cannot allow that. Adrenaline flooded my veins, fight or flight action? I choose fight.

"How dare you!" I shouted, then pounced onto her. All logic was pushed out of my mind by the sole thought of 'I have to kill her'. She screamed so loud, nobody has ever seen me flare my anger. The other kids, being useless and afraid, ran away, Gloria screamed, calling out to them, begging them to help her, but no one dared. I was on top of her, grabbing her shoulders, I repeatedly knocked her head onto the floor.

"Help! The freak is going to kill me!" She screamed and cried, nobody cared, especially me. Her fear was delicious. A small part of me wondered if what I was doing was right, telling me that I shouldn't stoop down to their barbaric level, but another part of me said, 'You aren't stooping down to their level, you are a higher being than her, and all the other children. She deserves it, for all the things she has done to you. She cursed Frost! She deserves to die!"

"Is this fun, Gloria?" I asked, half-crazed. "Are you having fun now? This is but a very slight retribution for what you have done to me over the years, this is but one percent of the pain and humiliation you've put me through, are you having fun, Gloria? Because, I AM!"

I could hear her feared murmurs of "No..No...No..." She was too tired and scared to scream anymore, looking into my eyes, she was afraid, she saw the beast lying inside me, and she feared it. I only had one thing to say. "Hey Gloria," I started calmly, grabbing her by her hair and bringing her face to mine so I could look her in the eye, "Look into the face of a freak. You have no idea how accurate you were. Do you fear me now? Too late, I will show you what I can do."

I slammed her head into the floor, stood up, and began kicking her and stomping on her, repeatedly, everywhere, saving her face. She kept screaming and crying. Seeing her in this state brought me so much joy. When I was bored with using my legs, I knelt down onto her, looking into her face. She wasn't beautiful, but she was pleasant, she did not deserve her look, because of her black heart, I decided to give her a face she actually deserved, a hideous face to match that hideous heart. Thus, I started punching her face repeatedly, with all the strength I could muster, I broke her nose, tore her lip, made her lose her front teeth, which were supposed to be permanent teeth, and for the creme ala creme, I used my claws and gave her a deep scratch across her face, which, I am extremely certain would scar. When I was done, I stood up and looked at her, a sobbing mess of blood, tears and stupidity. I called out to everyone in the house, letting my voice ring through the air.

"If you know what is good for you, you will all know what to do about this." I warned. Then I stepped over the bloody mess on the floor, grabbed my beanie and coat, and left the house.

After walking quite a distance into the woods, I cooled down, then I broke down. Searing hot tears just flowed freely, the only thing I could think now was, 'I stooped to their level, I became a monster."

I started running, I wanted to forget everything, it was all just too painful. This was the first time I actually had such a murderous rage, so much that I actually used all the brute force which is inside me to beat up a worthless little girl.

I ran faster than I had ever run in my life, but instead of forgetting, more images passed my mind, the topic of thought eventually changed, I tripped over a root and fell down onto the wet, spongy moss underfoot, and I just lay there, face down on the ground, and cried.

The minutes went by rather uneventfully, occasionally there was the sound of rustling leaves as the rodents ran through the leaf litter, there was also sometimes the sound of birds singing. Unexpectedly, I felt something nudging me, my hat fell off and the thing was prodding at my ears.

I looked up, and what I saw surprised me. It was a wolf cub, and he was beautiful. I estimate him to probably be a few months to a year old, with black, shiny fur, but the poor thing was so thin and looked so frail.

When I looked at him, I could tell that he knew I was extremely sad, he licked my face, it was so random that it made my giggle. "Thanks," I told him, "I really needed that." I gave him a big hug, making sure I didn't hurt him. His warmth was so comforting. I didn't notice when I stopped crying, but when I did, I looked at the fuzzy face, staring into his bright gold eyes, as he looked straight into mine as well, as if saying, 'I am yours, and I will belong to you forever.'

I said a name, "Kaviik, I will call your Kaviik." Then I noticed that it was getting pretty late, so I got up and walked back towards the house. Kaviik followed behind me. Nearing the edge of the woods he stopped, as I went on. Smart little wolf. "I'll see you again tomorrow," I told him, then left.

When I got back to the orphanage I saw that Mr Woveraine and Frost still weren't back yet, but the volunteer guardian, a twenty year old girl called Tiffany, was there. I liked her, she was really nice. I found out the kids told her that Gloria slipped on a toy and fell down the stairs, twice. I thought, 'that must be the single proudest moment of their lives.' Smiling, I ate my dinner and headed back to bed.

Something in Kaviik just made me feel optimistic, because I now truly believed that Frost would be alright. So, hugging my teddy, I went into a deep sleep, and I had very sweet dreams that night.

Friday, April 17, 2009
thats my life__

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Lost Memories ~ 16 Years Old (Part II)

I walk into my dorm room and see Laura slouched over a bowl of water, gazing deeply into it. I close the door, tilt my head and stare at her, wondering exactly what it is she is trying to do. After a few minutes, she looks up at me, and there are tears in her eyes.

"I can't do it," she sobs, "I can't scry..." I walk to her bed and put one of my hands on her shoulder.

"Now now, there there, Laura, please explain to me, what is this 'scrying'?" I ask gently. She then explains to me how it is a skill of seeing images in the substance you are looking in, it could be images of the past, present or future, sometimes it may be hard to tell which. It is like what the Gypsies in circuses do with the crystal balls. Her explanation catches my interest, I suddenly had a thought, perhaps, this could just be the answer for my lost past.

"Hey, Laura," I began, "I believe that you are able to scry, I believe that you have the power to do so, it may take a long time, but I'm sure that, if you keep practicing, you would definitely succeed, just don't give up."

"I guess so... Hey, Ember, would you like to try it with me?" she asked. I nodded my head, of course I would, I wanted to know more. Laura came down from her bed and rolled up the rug sitting in between our beds, she then motions me to sit down. She takes out candles, incense, another small bowl of water, and sand. I recognized this ritual, she was going to cast a circle, it was a part of her religion, I found it pretty cool.

Laura used chalk and drew a near-perfect circle around me, then stepped into it and closed the circle. She then proceeded to place the lit candle, the sand, water and incense, on the four compass points of the circle. She then sat opposite me, and the bowl of water sat in between us. We sat there, holding hands, I stared straight into her eyes, as she did mine, she started chanting, I could not catch the words she was saying, but after a couple of minutes, I felt compelled to sing, and I did. I started singing an ancient sounding song in a familiar tune, I did not know the words, but it felt so natural, so right. Laura looked at me with clear shock in her eyes, but eventually, her gaze softened and she started singing her own song as well, our voices melded together enchantingly.

Simultaneously, we transferred our gaze into the bowl of water between us, staring into its inky depths. The water swirled in the bowl, moving with each breath we took. In that instant, I swore, in the ripples, I saw an image forming from inside the blackness. I saw images of people, I could not see who, though, the image was far too much of a blur, it was as if I was looking through a thin veil of cloth, I could see only the silhouettes and the image just could not come into full focus.

That was all I got from the session. When I looked up at Laura, her eyes were brimming with tears, I could tell what she was thinking, 'I did it! I saw something!'

That night, we met Frost and Kyle at the school cafe for dinner. As we talked and ate, I was distracted. There was a little thought bugging me in my mind, I wanted to know what was behind that veil in the vision. And also, I couldn't forget the immense amount of excitement I felt while scrying, I wanted to scry again, and I wanted to do it now.

That night, I stayed awake and when Laura was in a deep slumber, I got up from my bed, told my teddy bear to stay tight, grabbed my Chalice from under one of the floorboards and tip-toed out of the room, I was heading to the place where I would definitely not be disturbed, the place I felt the most comfortable in, my seomar.

Since I found it, I've returned here a few more times, each time bringing another item. I now have a moderately large chest here, don't ask me how I got it here, I just did. Inside it I have a couple of candles, a robe, and a rug on which I sit on. To prevent myself from catching a chill as I left my clothes back on the surface, I slipped on the robe and felt immensely warm, snug and comfortable in it. I laid out the rug on the floor, lit a few candles and lined the room with them. It looked mystifying, little flames flickering around in the dark.

I filed the Chalice with water and brought it back into my seomar. Then I settled it down in the middle of a rug and sat down next to it, facing it. I closed my eyes, thinking of the feeling I had while I had scried with Laura. Naturally, my lips started moving, and my voice box started vibrating, I was singing. It was the same tune as when I had scried with Laura, and I now realised, it was the same tune which first led me here, to my seomar, to find my cup. My heart lifted, all negativity in my heart dissipated, I felt on top of the world, I felt as if I could fly, slowly, I opened my eyes and turned them to the water inside the Chalice.

I stared into it, I gazed hard, however, this time, I could see nothing. Not even blurred images. What did I do wrong? I assumed me and Laura were successful at scrying because of a power coming from in me, but, as I stared into the empty darkness, I realised that it wasn't because of me after all.

"Damn it!" I shouted, I knocked the Chalice over and all the water spilt out onto my rug. "God Damn it!" I thought that this would be the answer, my answer. I thought I finally had a way to re-live my past, my past before I lost my memory, my past before the facility. "Damn it!" I said again, but this time, with less energy. My hands covered my face and I started crying. I curled up into a ball and lay on the rug, I didn't care that it was wet, I was so upset.

I don't know how long I lay there crying, but after a while, I heard a voice, I assumed it was Morrigan. She told me not to be a hypocrite, not to give up, she told me to pick myself up, grab the Chalice, and try again. I have my mother's blood, she said, I will be able to do it. At first, I thought, 'I don't have a mother..." but I believed and trusted in Morrigan, after all, she left me her legacy.

I picked up the Chalice again, and to my shock and surprise, the moment my hand touched the cold metal, and even though it was wet all over, a flame burst into light within it. I staggered back slightly, then realised, this was probably what Morrigan meant about my mother's blood.

I placed the flaming cup on the rug and sat with it. Closing my eyes, I sang the tune again, then, feeling uplifted, I looked straight into the heart of the fire. Watching the flames dance about, I suddenly saw an image which was so minuscule that I almost over looked it, but as I concentrated harder, the image became larger, and clearer.

It was a lady, she was wearing a dress in bright shades of yellow, orange and red, somehow, I managed to differentiate between these colours and the colours of the fire. She was young and beautiful, with a friendly face, large, orange eyes, small but sharp nose and lips to die for. Her hair was grown up until her hips, long, flowing, fiery hair. She looked so much like me, just with different colouring, and the fact that she had two large fairy wings protruding out of her back. She was looking at me, and smiling. Instinctively, my body called out to her.

"Mother..."

Thursday, April 9, 2009
thats my life__

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Lost Memories ~ 6 Years Old

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you!" laughed the mocking children. I was awake, I was alive, and I was being carried against my will out of my room in the orphanage. There was no point in me crying or struggling, why give them the satisfaction? They are but mindless, pitiful savages.

They carried me by my limbs, the helpless prisoner having to face her fate. Laugh, they laughed, they cheered and they mocked. I tried to drown out their voices with my thoughts, it was no use. It was two in the afternoon, The orphanage guardian went off to the market to get supplies, he took Frost with him. Damn it.

"Bring out the cake!" I heard one of them cry, I recognized the voice as Gloria Gale, their leader. She hated me ever since I was brought to the orphanage, because she knew I was more adorable, more awesome, more interesting, and the guardians showed more concern to me than they ever showed to her, because of the difference in our personalities. I was the good kid, who always listened, who never made fun of anyone, and she was the little mischievous imp who made "weird" kids lives miserable. She turned the other kids against me, filling their minds with "she is a freak" thoughts. Why did she do this? She was green with jealousy about me.

At the foot of the stairs, right next to the kitchen, they put me down, but they still held both my hands against my back. And as promised, there was a cake. A 7 inch in diameter, pink, cream covered cake, finished with seven small candles and a picture of a monster, which they affectionately named, "E.W". Me.

"Smash it! Smash it!" jeered the little barbarians with their limited vocabulary, they got what they wanted, because Gloria took the cake in her hands and rammed it straight into my face, candles and all. I got burnt by one of them, right beside my right eye. It hurt, and tears started welling in my eyes, I choked, but I warned myself not to cry. What followed was cheers from the crowd of bullies.

"Wasn't that cake delicious, Ember?" giggled Gloria in her annoyingly high pitched voice. "Now lets go play some games!" I was shocked, 'there is more?', I thought, 'they sure put more effort today...shit.' I attempted to wriggle my hands free, but they got me in a vice grip, seeing me struggle gave them more satisfaction, and they laughed harder, cheered louder.

"Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to the freak!" sang the children, little song birds they are, really. They grabbed my legs again and carried me out to the backyard, to the old Elm which was probably there since before I was born. To my shock and horror, i saw that they slung a thick rope across a branch of the old, protective, elm.

Being little idiots which don't think about consequences, they proceeded in tying both my wrists up to the tree so that I was being hung by my wrists. It hurt, so very much.

"Let me down! I'm afraid! It hurts!" I finally succumbed to my fate, and I let my tears flow freely. Instead of stopping, they continued to jeer and laugh, and proceeded to throw rocks and sand at me.

"Freak!" "You're not human!" "You're an animal! You should be put up in a zoo!", they cried. "Happy Birthday! Are you happy, Ember? Because we are!" someone cried, I recognized the voice as Gloria's.

I struggled and writhed as I was hoisted about one and a half metres in the air. As I struggled against the ropes in the attempts to be free, I got excruciating rope burns on both my wrists, which eventually started bleeding. My own blood dripped on my head, swirling itself with the cake and cream. A deliciously disgusting mix. My tears washed the gunk off my face and fell onto the ground below.

"Stop! Stop it! I'm scared! It hurts! It really hurts!" I screamed and cried, but instead of having mercy, they bombarded me even more. "You are the ones who aren't human! You all! You all are nothing but pitiless beasts!" I shouted finally.

They all quietened down as a car drove into the driveway. "Run!" Shouted their ring leader, and my tormentors scrambled. I continued crying as I hung there, Frost and the guardian, Mr Woveraine, found me.

"Ember!" my brother cried as Mr Woveraine cut my down. "Who did this to you! How could they be such monsters?" I collapsed on the ground, bleeding like a fountain, my wrists burned. I turned to face Mr Woveraine, his kind face full of worry and concern as he walked towards me.

"Mr Woveraine! Those monsters! Barbarians! Beasts! All of them! Inside! Why do they do this? Why do they torment us? Just because we are different!" I looked down and cried, "Why..." Frost bundled me in his arms and rocked me back and forth, comforting me.

Mr Woveraine said nothing, but motioned us back into the house. I washed up and my wounds were disinfected and bounded.

The rest of the day past relatively peacefully. No one dared to bully me when Frost and Mr Woveraine were in the house. However, the "children" snickered to themselves when I past them.

"Idiots!" Frost exclaimed when we were having our supper, alone, at our usual place in the kitchen , far away from the little imps in the dining room. He slammed the fork on the table.

"Its alright, Frost, we just have to live with it until.... If, we get adopted." I said calmly.

We finished our supper and headed back to our room. Frost and I shared a room, it was small, sparsely furnished, but it was comfortable. Our room was right at the end of the hall, an area where no one, except us and the guardians, walk.

After brushing our teeth, Frost and I went back to our room straight, avoiding the other children. I was just about to jump up to my bed, the top bunk of the double decker bed, when Frost called me.

"Ember! Come here." Frost said affectionately. He took out a medium sized, blue box with a yellow ribbon and pushed it towards me. "This is from me and Mr Woveraine, Happy 7th Birthday!"

Tears started to well up in my eyes as I took the box from his hands and proceeded to open it. Inside, there was a stuffed toy, a simple, light-brown teddy bear without much decoration, but it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I hugged it tight and looked up at Frost.

"Thank you! ...Brother!" I said to him. It was the first birthday present I got in my life. " I love it!" I told him, and i meant it.

I climbed back onto my bed, holding my present. Hugging it, I lay down facing the wall, not wanting Frost to see my face.

And then, the tears started streaming from my eyes.

Saturday, April 4, 2009
thats my life__

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Lost Memories ~ 16 Years Old (Part I)

I am sitting in another math class, and I am dozing off, can you blame me? It was the last period of the day.

"The log of ten is equals to one..." drones the teacher's monotone voice. The students sitting in the desks on either side of me are already slumped on their table, in an extremely deep sleep. The nerd in front of me is enthusiastically taking down notes. I yawn, the teacher spots me.

"Ms Walcott! I see that you find my lesson rather boring, don't you? I am assuming you know all about Logarithms?" sneers my teacher, Madam Stabio, she has an obvious bias against me, for whatever reason, I have no idea.

I smiled sweetly at her and replied, "Yes Madam, the log of one is equals to zero, logaB plus logaC is equals to logaBC, logaB minus logaC is equals to logaB over C, logaB squared is the same as two logaB, log-"

"Alright, that is enough from you, Miss Know-It-All." She interrupted. I could almost see her face turning red. The boy behind me started giggling, I turned to give him a smug look. And as usual, the nerd in front of me stared at me in awe.

After class, I quickly packed my laptop and walked out of class. As I was walking down the hallway, a voice calls from behind me. It is the nerd, what was his name? Tim or something? I turned around to face him.

"Ember! Hey, um, yeah, you were cool in there, yeah, hm.. Well, I'm having a little... um.. problem with my.. uh.. my math and would like to ask.. maybe you could like, give me tuition on it?.. Or something..." He was staring at the ground and fidgeting with his uniform. I thought to myself, Problems? Yeah, right, you got 97 over hundred for the last test. Obviously, he had other intentions. I was just about to give him my rejection when I heard Kyle, my current boyfriend, walk up behind me and curl his arm around my waist, it sent shivers up my spine.

"I think the teacher would be a better tutor than another student," he said, "After all, like you, she is just learning this stuff too." And with that, Tim nodded and scurried away like a sad little mouse, poor thing. Kyle then proceeded to turn me around to face him and smirked.

"You get yourself into quite a lot of trouble, don't you?" He said chidingly. I acted as if I was offended and pushed him away and walked in front of him. He laughed and ran up behind me. We were going to meet my brother, and we were going for a swim in the lake inside the school grounds.

I returned to my dormitory first, kept my books, changed into my swimming costume, pulled a sweatshirt and shorts over that, and went to the lake to meet them.

It was a beautiful afternoon, the sun was shining, not hot, but warm. Refreshing sunlight shone down on the lake, giving an effect as if the ripples in the water surface were actually diamonds, shimmering beautifully against the lush greenery surrounding it. Such a pity Laura had to go for her drama class, it was such a nice day to swim. Frost and Kyle were sitting by our favourite spot along the surface of the lake, a private little space made rocks and plants, it was strange, but undeniably beautiful.

"You're late again baby sister! I heard you were busy fighting off the legions of Ember Walcott fan boys!" teased Frost. I threw my towel to his head and we all laughed. We stripped down to our swimming costumes and jumped into the water. We didn't have to hide our wolfish characteristics anymore, the whole school knew of our "defects", but no one really gives a damn about it, in fact, some people found it cool. It was good though, I was so sick of hiding my tail under skirts, and I'm sure Frost was sick of wearing baggy shirts to hide his own tail.

The water was cool against our skin, we played around in the water, splashing each other, racing each other. Kyle was so beautiful with the droplets of water making his body glisten, I wanted to attack him right there and then, but of course, I didn't. Then something Frost said gave me a shock.

Frost took out three breathing devices, newest in diving technology, light, portable, small. I gasped. We weren't supposed to dive very far in the lake according to school rules.

"What in the world! Frost! You know we're not supposed to dive too deep in the school lake! Its dangerous!" I voiced my concern.

"Come on Ember, don't worry, not like we'll die or anything. Haven't you ever wondered what was down there? It will be fine, we're here to protect you." Said Kyle, damn it, he was in on this operation too.

Frost passed me one of the breathing devices. I sighed and complied. I took the breathing device in my mouth and we all went back into the water. On the count of three, we all dived inside, swimming into the dark abyss.

My eyes were closed initially, I was holding onto the hands of both of them, I was, initially, afraid of opening them. Then i felt Frost let go of my hand and pat me on my shoulder, supposedly signalling me to open my eyes, slowly, I let my eyes open. It was weird, because both me and Frost could keep our eyes open without any hesitation when we were in the water, Kyle had to wear goggles though. It looked hilarious on him. I let go of Kyles hand, and when I opened my eyes, what I saw stirred up something in me, it was a weird feeling, mixed of fear and delight. I looked around, the lake was deeper than I thought. There were few fishes around, and those which were present were colourful and small in size. There were underwater plants floating around everywhere, but not so much that it clouded our sight, a small amount of sunlight trickled in from above, making everything mysterious, but extremely beautiful, I could not tell how deep in we were, but what I definitely could see, or rather, couldn't see, was the bottom of the lake.

We swam around together, never getting too far apart, we couldn't afford to lose each other. I don't know how much time had past when we were in the water, when suddenly, I heard a sound, ever so soft, but beautiful. It was a melody. It felt, familiar, even though I was positively sure I had never heard anything like it in my life. The tune wasn't coming from an instrument, neither was it singing, I could not tell exactly what it was from, but I was completely lured to it. Thus, like a mouse following the Pied Piper, I swam to follow the sound.

I am not sure if Frost and Kyle followed me, I suppose they did, but I didn't care, all I wanted to do was to get closer to the source of the melody. All rational thought from my conscience was blocked out by that sole thought. I swam down deeper, and closer to the lake wall. I swam until I found a hole in the wall, big enough for me to swim through. It was completely dark, no sunlight penetrated it, but something inside my head told me to continue through, that it was completely safe. So I swam on.

Eventually, the hole led me upwards, and when I broke the water surface, I was in a cave. It was extremely dark, but a small amount of light filtered from above, I couldn't tell exactly from where, or how, but it did. The air here was not stale, it felt, and smelt, fresh, and it was pleasantly warm. I found an ancient looking torch on one of the walls, I am not sure how, but in my hands, it burst into flame. I looked around the now illuminated cave. Surprisingly, the walls were not covered in mildew and moss, instead, it was dry. It was not an ominous cave, in fact, it was cosy, and I felt comforted here, more comforted than I had ever felt in my life. I walked in deeper into the cave, into the dark, following the tune.

After a while I came to the end of the tunnel, this was where the melody stopped. This place was so surreal. It looked as if I had come across a room, the walls were flat, the "room" was circular, there was no dust anywhere, it was unbelievably clean. There were crystals lying all around, and they weren't naturally formed here, the couldn't have been, there were too many different types, Malachite, Quartz, Agate, Lapis Lazuli, Amethyst, to name a few.

A stray thought of the painting I saw when I first came into the school floated back into my head. The painting of the nymph holding the chalice. A sound came from the other room, "Cole, Cole... Why?" I was lying down in my cot, and I was crying, I was screaming my lungs out, it was my mother's voice, I don't like the sound of it, why isn't she coming here to check up on me? I heard a gasp, and then I heard the sound of liquid flowing into a cup. I cried and thought, Mommy! Where are you? Why aren't you coming to check up on me? Mommy! Mommy!

I closed my eyes, and when I woke up again, I was in a house, not my own. My true father was lying in his bed, with another whore. They both were dead, and I had killed them. Pitiless beast, he deserved what he got, for killing my mother. Weakling, it was far too easy to extinguish his fire. I hope at least now, mother's beautiful soul can finally rest in peace.

I am older now, I can finally be allowed to use my inheritance, this large sum of money that the bastard stole from my mother. My mother's money. I am using it to build a school, a boarding school, where both girls and boys can live in harmony, where they will only grow to love, and be strayed away from the path of deceit, this school will become a haven away from hate, I will not let my mother die in vain. I've got the money for the school, and I have the location, my dream will become a reality.

Ten years have past, it is the Winter Solstice, the 28th anniversary of my mother's death. I am now a woman of twenty-eight summers, and my dream has now materialised, the school is ready to be unveiled tomorrow, as Morrigan High, named after my beautiful mother. There is just one last thing I must do. I head down to the lake, I remove my clothes, shedding myself of outside auras, then, clutching my mother's beloved chalice I dive into the cool water. I hold my breath and swim down, into my private seomar, I need no light, because this place is so familiar to me, I walk on into the darkness.

I found out long ago, that I am not the true heir of my mother, I am the true daughter, but not the true heir. This chalice was meant for another, and as her wish, I shall keep it safe. Right in the middle of my seomar, I use my hands and dig deep into the rock and dirt, wrapping the chalice in silk, I place it into the hole and cover it up with dirt. I perform one last spell before I leave the cave, and seal it up so no one but the heir can find it.

When I wake I am still standing in the middle of the room. I start digging in the same spot as in my vision, no surprise, I find a wrapped package, I open it to find the exact same chalice as in the painting. It is beautiful, I hold the warm cup in my hands, feasting my eyes on it. "This belongs to me," I heard myself say. "It is my heritage, and nobody can take it away from me."

"Ember! Ember!" I hear from the other side of the cave, and realising how worried Frost and Kyle must be, I wrap the chalice with the silk and place it back into the hole, I will come back for it later, without Frost and Kyle. I go out of the room, and see Frost and Kyle feeling around in the darkness.

"Guys I'm here!" I call out to them. "Oh thank god" I hear Kyle say and they both run up to hug me.

"Now where did you materialise from?" asked Frost

"What are you talking about? I was in the other room the whole time." I replied. They both looked at me as if I was going mad.

"Ember.. What are you talking about? This is the only room here." asked Kyle suspiciously. I stared at him wide-eyed, then realised, oh right, only I can enter the seomar.

"Huh? Did I say other room? I meant this one! Hahahaha.... I guess its just the air in here getting to me.. lets get out then." I laughed as I put on my breathing device and proceeded back into the dive pool. Without another word, they followed suit.

As I swam away from the cave, I thought in that direction, I will come back for you, I promise. And as I realised that today was the day of new beginnings, I heard a reply.

"I have waited hundreds of years already, another few hours is nothing."

Sunday, March 29, 2009
thats my life__

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~